You be the anchor that keeps my feet on the ground;
♥
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SARA I like beautiful melodies telling me terrible things. Tumblr &
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Sunday, March 25, 2012
They say bad things happen for a reason, but no wise word's gonna stop the bleeding.
10:59 PM Loneliness: The state of being alone in solitary isolation. It is weird how even though I'm not alone nor in any sort of solitary isolation, I'm still lonely. Wednesday, March 21, 2012
Neon lights.
3:02 AM I find it extremely annoying and infuriating when people post things online just to get attention. There's a difference between ranting and full-on guilt treatment, you know? Okay so you guys may be all "ooo nonsense you post so many emo things online". See, the difference is that I know he doesn't read my blog, he's just not the blog-reading or Facebook-stalking kind. If he were that kind of guy I would never post anything like this here. So yeah in your face. Just saying. Monday, March 19, 2012
Just say you love me, and I'll say I'm sorry.
1:26 AM "I used to think that I was strong, until the day it all went wrong. I think I need a miracle to make it through. I wish that I could bring you back, I wish that I could turn back time 'cuz I can't let go, I just can't find my way.
In a perfect world, this could never happen. In a perfect world, you'd still be here. It makes no sense, I could just pick up the pieces but to you this means nothing at all.
I don't know what I should do now, I don't know where I should go. I'm still here waiting for you, I'm lost when you're not around. I need to hold on to you, I just can't let you go."
___________
So there comes a point in your life where you're second guessing everything, every single decision that you've made. You know what they say though, you made your bed, now sleep in it. I made my decision, I now have to live with it.
I occasionally wonder if things would end up different in the long-run if I hadn't ended things that day, or if it would have ended anyway. They say everything has an expiration date, but what happens when you throw something away before it's even close to expiring? The hardest thing in life is that you don't know when the expiration date is. It's like a guessing game, but you never get any answers.
I know everyone's gotta move on someday. I just hate that one day you're going to be someone that I used to know. I know we're all still young but I really thought we'd make it.
Maybe one day I'll be able to see your face without flinching and be able to give you a genuinely happy and sincere smile, but for now I really just need time to heal before I can start to be happy again.
I've realised that partying and drinking and doing stupid things won't make you come back, nor will it heal myself. At the end of the day, whether I wake up in my own bed or on the floor at a chalet, whether I wake up feeling refreshed or I wake up feeling dead 'cuz I was in bed with 5 other friends, I'm still going to feel horrible. I guess drinking and doing shit may help distract or numb the pain for awhile, but in the end I'm still going to have to get healed the hard way. There is no easy way out when it comes to getting over a broken heart. Whatever the distraction was whether it was another guy, or alcohol, or staying out late all the time, it didn't help me feel better or get anywhere near moving on. Healing the natural and healthy way is better than drowning myself in alcohol and risking doing things that I may regret in the future.
It's weird and unnatural not going to sleep or waking up to your texts, not knowing how you are and what you are doing, but it's something I'm going to have to get used to 'cuz you're not coming back. It feels so horrible having to let go of something that we've fought so hard for, for close to two years, but there really isn't a choice anymore.
Alright, enough of moping. I'm going to bed.
Goodnight.
xx Wednesday, March 14, 2012
1:07 AM I miss you. I miss you so much. :'( Thursday, March 1, 2012
We have gone our separate ways but we will meet up on another page,
dont close the book on me.
10:35 PM So, THE EXAMS ARE OVER! :D Okay, they have been over since Tuesday but I just hadn't have the time to blog. I've been out a lot recently so I decided to come home earlier tonight, thus this post. Hahaha. I really no longer have any motivation to blog anymore, I'm too lazy!! So, I shall just blog about what I did after the exams as I'm too lazy to think back further haha. Tuesday, went for lunch w Grace, Anita, Michelle and Vinder @ Kungfu Paradise in Tampines! The food was quite good for the price we paid. Had my long awaited catch-up session with Grace! The last time we really spoke was in November, during MAAD. Gosh, so many things have changed since that day. Well then again, a lot can change in three months. Anyway, went home after lunch and the plan was for me to stay at home and rest.... But ended up meeting Evelyn and Hui Juan for dinner @ Far East and drinks @ Chips! :) Met Matt there too! Wednesday, met Hui Juan in town for lunch and some retail therapy! I spent about $200 in total on clothes yesterday. :( WORTH IT THOUGH. Was so happy, finally shopped after like two months! :D I still have to buy shoes, bags and books though.... >:( Oh, Shas and Vinder came to join us at Far East for awhile. At 6 HJ and I headed to City Hall to meet Joel and Yue Keat for dinner and drinks at Timbre! :) We left at about 8pm and headed over to Bedok macs to pass time as it was still quite early. I lost track of time and only left at 10:15! I got a shock when I looked at my phone and saw the time!! I was planning to reach home early or on time! Haha. Today, met Jeremy for lunch at 112 Katong! Haven't met him in probably two years? Had a great time catching up with him. See, who says ex-es can't be friends? :) Went home, played guitar to pass some time, and headed to Novena for dinner with guitar peeps! :) at about 8 I went over to Cineleisure to meet HJ and her other friends for awhile. Oh and I bought a new iPhone cover hehe. Walked to Dhoby Ghaut with them and took the MRT home! Tomorrow Joel, HJ and YK will be coming over to swim, eat lunch and then we will head over to ECP to chill and eat dinner! The perks of living next to the beach!! :) On the other hand, I rarely bother to walk over anyway... Hahaha. I predict that this holiday is going to be a VERY busy one. It is only 1st of March and I have already a million and one things planned! How to work like that?? :( _______ "Should've been much further than this by now, a little bit more gone, a little less twisted around. Should've been much better you'd think, but I'm not. I'm still stuck, I'm still here in this rut. I'm looking back on everything that we had, holding on to words that we can't take back. What am I to do with the past when it's all that I have and I can't get you back? Now I wait by the phone in the dark, drunk on hope. I'm so lost, I'm so alone and I just want you to know, everywhere that I go, I'm reminded of us. Where we've been, all we've done and all the love that we shared once. I remember you saying I was the one and nothing could change that, but you were wrong. It's funny how life turns on a dime. Now we don't even talk I just stare at these walls. Once, you made the world feel so right. Once, you were my morning, noon and night. Why'd we slip away? Why did it all change? How will I ever be the same?" Yes, those are lyrics. I feel so broken now. It's been 36 days since we last spoke. Putting up a strong front has been too tiring. I'm tired. I'm done acting like I'm fine not having you here with me anymore. It has been a rough month, I am really hoping things will get better. When you hit the bottom, be happy, 'cuz there's no where you can go but up. Right? I've been through enough to know that things will always get better, it's just the period between hitting the ground and actually lifting off and going up that's hard.. I will get through this. I don't believe our life is one book and that everytime something changes, a page is turned. I think that our life is like a series of books, and the page doesn't turn when something changes, a book is closed. Everytime a book is closed, there's another story waiting to be written. I'm still waiting. Goodnight. xx |
♥
I'll be the wings that keep your heart in the clouds. |