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You be the anchor that keeps my feet on the ground;
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Saturday, August 4, 2012
Happy the hard way.
5:23 PM The future. The time or a period of time following the moment of speaking or writing; time regarded as still to come. Just awhile ago, I thought I had everything planned out. The idea of the future didn't really scare me. I assumed I was ready, that everything was going to go as planned. Today however, really got me thinking. Today's lunch was filled with talks about the future, about university. With the sudden news that all of my close friends will be going overseas to further their education, I had to stop and think about my plans for the near future. The girls are considering going to UQ, well some are considering, the rest have already decided to head there to secure a degree in HTM. Seeing that it will only take them 1 and a half year to complete the course, it definitely seems like a good choice for them. I, on the other hand, am not to sure what to make of it or what to do. After visiting UQ last June during our school trip to Australia, many of my friends have been talking about going to UQ. I would normally just brush them off, firmly declaring that I will be staying in Singapore to complete my degree. I don't know what changed today though, maybe it's the fact that they will be going overseas together that made me rethink my former decision of staying in Singapore. One of the main reasons I decided to remain in Singapore was because I didn't want to go overseas alone and leave everyone behind. Now that 50% of the people who are important to me will either be going to UQ together or going elsewhere to study as well, I'm beginning to ask myself why I'm still planning to stay in Singapore. The most important person in my life then (then being from 2010 - Jan 2012) is no longer even actually in my life anymore, so I don't see what's holding me back now. Especially since if I do go, I will not be alone, but with very good friends. BUT if I do go, I will still be leaving my family and best friends behind... Everyone says it's only for a short while (1 and a half years) and it's for my own personal growth and experience, but I don't want to leave anyone behind. :( Then again, am I making my decisions with all the wrong factors in mind? Shouldn't my university choices be for the good of my education? Why am I putting personal relationships as my top priority? If I'm too afraid to let people go, I'm not going to go anywhere in my life. I can't stay rooted to one place because of the people around me, can I? People come and go, that's the lesson life has harshly taught me these few years. Hmm....... I have a lot of ponder about for the next few weeks. Goodbye. xx |
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I'll be the wings that keep your heart in the clouds. |
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